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The reason? This is the first review on The Trailer Trash written by someone with two X-chromosomes. Eat your damned collective hearts out, Mary Wollstonecraft and Gloria Steinem -- you too, Simone de Beauvoir. Uh huh. That's right, Simone. I see you there. What's that? Huh? Yeah, I didn't think so. Also, I'd like to point out the sassy irony that I -- not a guy -- am reviewing the movie trailer for A Guy Thing, the latest failed attempt at comedy from Hollywood's brightest stars. Well, perhaps not sassy. It's ironic in a feisty, impish way, at least. There is, as everyone knows, a distinct difference between a guy movie and a girl movie -- or "chick flick", to use the rhyming term. (Why isn't there a comparable rhyming term for guy movies, I wonder? Dick flick? Joe show? Just throwing them out there.) Recently, a friend of mine tricked a member of the cuter, stronger, dumber sex into seeing Two Weeks Notice, with the alluring promise of it being chock-full of "big explosions and bigger breasts and, you know, big exploding breast-type stuff." Needless to say, he was a little bit disappointed by what was, ultimately, a pretty sappy formulaic romance involving Sandra Bullock and stuttery mess Hugh Grant. I'm sure the same ruse will occur with this movie, since -- despite the misleading title -- A Guy Thing appears to be most certainly a Girl Thing, most likely aimed squarely at the teenaged and female among us. And we all know what that means. Formerly cool skateboard wunderkind/indie film god Jason Lee (Chasing Amy, Almost Famous) is Paul Morse, a regular guy about to tie the knot with fiancée Karen, played by Selma Blair (Cruel Intentions, Legally Blonde). There are all of the usual pre-nuptial stress / crazy in-laws / wedding planner gags that tend to permeate similar films, and they are all decidedly unfunny, if this trailer is any indication (and it probably is. Previews for comedies tend to put forth the best material in a film so the audience is fooled into thinking that the movie is consistently funny. If those zany folk at MGM can't come up with enough vaguely amusing material to fill a damned one minute trailer, heaven help the suckers who sink $8.50 for the privilege of seeing it. But I digress.) Julia Stiles (Ten Things I Hate About You), who I believe to have a great deal of hidden acting potential (in addition to being cute as a freaking button and... okay, fine... I have a bit of a girlcrush on Julia Stiles), continues to offer up Ten Things I Hate About Her Poor Choice of Movie Scripts. Stiles plays Becky, the Tiki-girl-dancer-with-a-heart-of-gold (is that a formula character? Surely it must be by now) who Paul befriends at his wild 'n' crazy bachelor party...and wakes up in bed with the next morning. Cue comedic "wuh oh!" music. Ohhh, Paul. You are just such a guy. Although Our Hero can't remember what happened the night before, it is revealed that Paul and Becky did not, in fact, partake in the horizontal mambo (you know, have sex). Paul is not off the hook yet, however. Karen informs him that he simply has to meet her cousin Becky -- and my sweet goodness, it's a small world after all! Julia Stiles, of course, is cousin Becky / Tiki-girl-dancer-with-a-heart-of-gold / premise of film / Julia Stiles.
Before you, dear Trailer Trash reader, get all up in my grill for revealing major plot "twists," I should let you know that I am not giving away any information that is not revealed in the trailer. No additional research was conducted for the review of this film. I couldn't even imagine conducting additional research for this film. In fact, the trailer for A Guy Thing falls into the category of the trailer mini-movie. Instead of giving us a sneak peek of what the flick might hold for us, it serves as a Coles Notes version of the real thing. I don't know about you, but I read Coles Notes over the real thing sometimes, just because it tells you everything you need to know in a fraction of the time. Luckily, you will not be quizzed on A Guy Thing. Don't even bother with the Cole's Notes on this one.
RATING:
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I
am a trailblazer. A trailer-blazer, even. 
Naturally,
mayhem ensues: Becky's ex-fiancé kicks a little Jason Lee ass;
a sinister-looking dog barks menacingly; Paul and Becky seem to start
falling in ell-oh-vee-ee. This culminates in a clichéd speak-now-or-forever-hold-your-peace
scene on Wedding Day that, I assure you, would be hilariously uncomfortable
if the trailer had given me one reason to give a shit about any of them.
All of these things, by the way, take place to the beat of a booming
(and, sadly, already dated) teen-oriented soundtrack. (I'm sorry, but
Jimmy Eat World's "The Middle" was soooooo summer of
2002. Like, omigawd.)