South Korea/JP.com Talks Break Down; Flame War Imminent
Mere days after lending my particular no-holds-barred brand of two-fisted stupid journalism to the scathing, incredibly stupid post “South Korea Makes Sex-Bots a Terrifying, Sexy Reality,” I received an email from the South Korean National Intelligence Service (Internet Division), informing me that my site has been barred permanently from South Korea, lest it rouse unsuspecting net surfers to revolution. I’ve included the email after the break:
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Your site, http://jaypinkerton.cracked.com/, has been blocked by the Ministry of Social Security and the National Intelligence Service of South Korea, for these reasons:
1. Suspected violation of the National Security Law.
2. Suspected violation of the Social Security Law.
3. Suspected violation of the Anti-Communism Law. (of 2004)
Your site will no longer be possible to enter in the provinces of the Republic of Korea, and any servers that go through the nation.
Thank you for your cooperation,
[I’ve deleted the name here]
National Intelligence Service,
Internet Division.
[bunch of South Korean text]
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It’s difficult to tell if someone’s pulling my leg here, since according to Wikipedia South Korea is a democratic republic, which by definition should technically mean it isn’t allowed to just go around suppressing any information it finds mildly objectionable, but what do I know. Personally, I just find it interesting that a post jokingly referring to South Korea taking over the world through sex robots has brought the hammer down on my site for “suspected violation of the National Security Law.” Talking about androids built to fuck guys violates their National Security laws? Did South Korea just inadvertantly show its hand on its military sex-bot defense strategy?
Either way, while it’s certainly flattering to get banned by an entire nation, I remain curious if this blocking means no one in South Korea will be allowed to visit my site, or if the ban merely pertains to non-government personnel. I mean to say, can I start plotting actively against South Korea on my website now, and—given their savvy “let’s put our heads in the sand so as to muffle Jay Pinkerton’s security-threatening taunts” strategy—they’d never know? Maybe they’ll just ask Japan to check in on the site once and a while. “Make sure he’s not up to anything,” they’ll stress, “But no details! If he asks us something about an update and we accidentally respond, we’ll look like idiots over the whole banning thing.”