Russ Meyer (1922-2004)
“Skin Flick” Director Goes Tits Up
Russ Meyer, the revolutionary film director who invented nudity, died yesterday from complications involving a savage half-naked kill-spree perpetrated by three sex-crazed go-go dancing sluts, who police warn are as dangerous as they are busty. Meyer’s family has so far refused to comment on the filmmaker’s connection to the go-go sluts, though experts suspect a deadly cocktail of murder and seduction.
Meyer rose to prominence in the 1960s with such classic films as Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill! and Vixen. Barely making ends meet in 1963, Meyer struck upon the idea of a lifetime after realizing that instead of movie stars, films could just as easily star strippers with big boobs. The brainstorm would prove a revelation, earning Meyer over 15 Oscars at the imaginary Oscar ceremonies in the heads of 1960s men with boners everywhere.
Considered pornographic at the time, Meyer’s films are less likely to shock young people of today, who because of changing fashions and moral standards in the last 40 years can get more eyefulls of ass from thirty seconds of MTV than Meyer would have been able to provide in eight feature-length films, with even CNN’s Crossfire offering a higher number of cleavage money shots.
Nonetheless, Meyer is honored today by stripper enthusiasts of all ages, recognizing his tireless efforts to push against the prevailing tendency of 1960s Hollywood to produce dramatic, thoughtful films, sticking to his vision of filming pretty girls without a lot of clothes on, then projecting that up on a wall.
“Today the world has lost a visionary,” Hugh Hefner would have probably said in a statement earlier today, had he not been occupied sitting around in a velvet housecoat watching two 18-year-old blondes make out on his pool table while he knocked back 25-year-old scotch.