Ricky Martin Volunteers to Solve World’s Problems

July 26th, 2005 Posted in News and Reviews

Gosh, that was nice of him, wasn’t it? From IMDb:

Ricky Martin Vows To Stamp Out Arab Stereotypes

Puerto Rican pop hunk Ricky Martin has vowed to make an effort to change the negative perception of Arabs in the Western world. As part of his trip to Jordan - his first ever visit to the Middle East - Martin met with a group of teenagers who expressed concern about being labelled “terrorists” by other cultures. The singer assured them at the conference yesterday, “I promise I will become a spokesperson, if you allow me to, a spokesperson on your behalf. I will defend you and try to get rid of any stereotypes. I have been a victim of stereotypes. I come from Latin America and to some countries, we are considered ‘losers’, drug traffickers, and that is not fair because that is generalizing. Those comments are made out of ignorance and we have to sometimes ignore the ignorant, but we also have to educate the ignorant. You have me here as a friend.”

It’s hilarious in general when entertainers weigh in on issues of international consequence like they’re John Ralston Saul or something, and not a useless mob of vapid, botoxed Pilates enthusiasts whose sole responsiblilty is making sure they don’t muss their hair when they say things at cameras.

Ricky Martin takes the entire enterprise to an entirely new level of surreality, though. At least Sean Penn’s played enough non-brain damaged characters in movies that he can get away with trying to school the masses in the New York Times that war is bad. But the “Livin’ La Vida Loca” guy? I wouldn’t trust Ricky Martin to properly sort my fucking mail, let alone take on the role of Arab ambassador in mercurially complex social polemics on a world stage.

I’m not saying that just because someone’s sung a disposable Top 40 hit, they’re unable to weigh in on matters of import. I’m just saying that Ricky Martin is a fucking idiot. We might laugh at Bono for presuming to carry the weight of the third world on his miniscule leather-jacketed shoulders — but let’s be honest, you can at least count on Bono reading the newspaper before he sits down to lunch with Kofi Annan and debates American foreign policy. I’d be thoroughly surprised if Ricky Martin gets updates on world affairs from any outlets besides the guy who applies pre-show lip gloss to his teeth.

Ricky? We know your heart’s in the right place, but.. no, I’m sorry. Just… no. Sit down.