Review: “Thoughtless” Korn Video

April 1st, 1998 Posted in Other Reviews

I suspect Korn’s days as the toast of teenagerdom are almost done, from the looks of things. Jonathan Davis is starting to look less creepy and more, well, rotund. Guess all those parties he attends at Hef’s mansion, in between writing songs about how it sucks to be a misunderstood teen, have taken their toll on the thirty-six year old singer. And he still hasn’t gotten rid of that fu manchu moustache thing, which makes him look like a child molester. Unless this is the look he wanted, someone should really tell him.

The video, then: the plot of “Thoughtless” surrounds a — surprise — misunderstood teen. He’s apparently unpopular, as everyone in the school spits on him and gives him wedgies and laughs at him. Whoever made this video hasn’t bothered to do his research on teen cruelty, in my opinion. Yes, people get ostracised. But I can’t think of any time in high school where the school nerd was laughed at by everyone as he walked down the hallway. Honestly, who commands that much attention? The most popular guy in school didn’t get that kind of press.

Beyond that, it’s a pretty stupid video. He goes to the pool, and the jocks dunk him and stuff. It seems a trifle harsh, seeing the misunderstood teen has runway model good looks, washboard abs, and appears to be 27. If anything, you think the jocks would be asking him to try out for the lacrosse team or buy them some Coors.

Anyway, the misunderstood teen turns to the music of Korn, and Korn apparently gestates inside him. Then he gets a date with no skin (?), shows up at the prom and — I’m not kidding — vomits a milky substance all over the immaculately dressed teens in attendance, who also all look 27. It’s never adequately explained how he met the skinless girl — but I suppose, him being a loser, he couldn’t afford to be picky. Additionally, in the video the skinless girl’s breasts do, for reasons unexplained, glow brightly — this is a pretty amusing feature on any girlfriend, though perhaps not something you’d want to base a relationship around. (On a second viewing, it seems that the glowing feature might have been added to obscure the girl’s possibly naked breasts. This doesn’t make it any less funny, however. Turn off those high beams, girl! Have respect for your fellow drivers!)

Back to the vomiting. The whole scene is supposed to be very deep and disturbing — there’s some crucifix imagery (vomit spills on a cross, and — that’s it, really). Plus it’s all done in a creepy slo-mo. I couldn’t stop laughing at the scene, which I can’t help but think wasn’t what the director was going for. Still and the same — the kid was getting some fucking DISTANCE with that milk! He was picking people off a stage from over seventy feet away — you take wind resistance into account, and sudden drafts from the gym, and it’s actually very impressive. The actor playing the kid tries his best to look “fed up” and “tortured” a la Pearl Jam’s Jeremy video — but it’s difficult to pull off with a pressurized stream of dairy launching itself out of one’s mouth like a garden weasel.

My two cents here: if vomiting streams of milk is the only perk involved in allowing a nu-metal band to gestate inside you, I just don’t see people lining out the door to join up, no matter how persuasive the marketing campaign. Being able to produce milk at will is undeniably a useful feature for any malcontent — but worth blind allegiance to Jonathan Davis? There just arent enough bells and whistles. I’m afraid the boys at Korn are going to have to come up with something a little more creative if they want the solid recruiting numbers of the KISS army.