Rejected Game Concepts #283: “Fighting & Fucking”

November 27th, 2007 Posted in 2007, Quick Bits

FIGHTING

Fuck dudes right the fuck up. I mean seriously lay right into them. They won’t even know what happened. Just standing around like dumbasses, all “I like to shop at Bed, Bath and Beyond” or whatever, and then BAM! You’re all, “How do you like me now?” and they can’t say anything because they’re dead. Also you’re a Viking.

YOU.

FUCKING

Bitches be lined out the door for what you’re giving ‘em: fuckin’, and lots of it (you have a big, big dick). You’ll fuck so much in this game your dick’s going to fall off. Really hot chicks too. We didn’t design ugly chicks into the game, so even if you wanted to have sex with ugly chicks, you can’t in our game. All the girls are really hot with big tits. They think you’re awesome and they’re right.

MULTIPLAYER ONLINE

Get online, fuck everybody up and then have a shitload of great sex. How’s that sound? Pretty good, we bet. Everybody else online’s going to be jealous because they’ll all want to fight and fuck too, but good luck with that, because they’re not you.

MELEE COMBAT

You know how some games are all like, “hit the X button to fight?” FUCK THAT. In our fights you get to press all the buttons. Every one of those motherfuckers does something. You can hit shit and bite shit and kick shit and like grab a dude’s head and just tear that shit right off for him. Another button makes you just go fucking CRAZY on a guy. It’s going to be nuts.