Raffi’s Gangsta Fuck Party

October 22nd, 2006 Posted in Misc

This ended up being a total jack-off weekend. I had a Four Science Fellows comic I was going to finish, and a new entry to Back of the Bible I’ve been working on, so naturally I ended up kicking it on the couch watching Bad Boys II on TBS (the one where they REALLY KICK IT INTO OVERDRIVE!), downloading old PC war games from bit torrent and randomly clicking through Wikipedia instead.

On the upside, this wiki entry has inspired me to change my ending salutation on any outgoing letter to “Fuck the police,” for reasons of brute potency of prose. Unlike the clichéd “Sincerely Yours” or the sexually explicit-sounding “Yours in Christ,” I’m confident “Fuck The Police” will force the recipients of my mail to really sit up and take notice of who’s writing them and, more importantly, what it is I have against the police. After a night of hopeless conjecture, they’re sure to write me back if only to get the details. It’s a salutation for any occasion, really. It works for close friends:

Dear Dave and Cheryl,

Thanks for inviting me to that bris thing. It was pretty fucked up!

Fuck the police,

Jay

…and adds that extra kick of gravitas to what would normally be a roundly ignored complaint:

Dear Makers of Kibbles ‘N’ Bits,

This is the worst party mix I’ve ever purchased. It was difficult to swallow and unpleasant tasting.

Fuck the police,

Jay Pinkerton

It’s pretty much perfect, in other words. How fortuitous I haven’t mailed out my wedding thank you cards yet.

Fuck the police,

Jay