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Tip #1: First Steps Taking the first step to conserving energy in your home is a difficult one. More than anything else, you must learn to become aware of how much energy your home actually uses. The members of your family - your spouse, children, pets - are more than members of a functional family unit; they are drains on your home's energy. Your energy. Therefore, any approach to energy waste should begin with the big question: what do you intend to do about it? |
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Tip #2: Be Aware Make an effort to "energy audit" your family's energy use and patterns, especially in high-use areas such as the living room and kitchen. Learn to "shadow" your family at all times. If a family member hears a noise behind them and darts around suddenly, the only reminder of your presence should be one wobbling shoe on the linoleum. Prey on your family. Stalk them through the darkly lit rooms of your home as a wolf would a nimble fawn. When your alert senses are finally rewarded with evidence of them failing to conserve energy (such as forgetting to turn lights off when they leave a room) strike quickly and without mercy. Let the law of the jungle consume you as a dark, unforgiving shroud -- studies show this could save you over three dollars on your monthly heating bill. |
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Tip #3: Lighting Replace high watt light bulbs (100 watts and over) with lower wattage bulbs. Gradually reduce the wattage over the course of months. Finally, remove the lights altogether, leaving only exposed wiring. A family member will no doubt attempt to check the bulb and, with visibility low, will be rewarded with a crippling surge of electric volts. Like Pavlov's dogs, by God, they WILL remember to save your energy. |
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Tip #4: Assign Priorities
Having identified places in your home where you are losing energy - where precious energy is in effect being stolen from you; ripped from your hands like an only child - assign priorities to your energy needs by asking yourself important questions. Which rooms represent your greatest energy losses? How long will it take for an investment in energy efficiency to begin paying for itself? In the war against energy loss, which of your family members are expendable? How much are you willing to spend on maintenance and repair? On incendiary devices, explosives and trip mines? If it came to it - and it might never happen, but it could - would you be willing to put a bullet between your daughter's eyes to save energy?
| Are you prepared to make sacrifices? Are you enough of a man to endure the nightmares, the screaming, the sleepless memory-haunted nights? If so, let's save some energy. |
