My Lampoon Years

December 27th, 2007 Posted in Articles

One of the drawbacks of whoring your comedy-writing ass out to anyone with a handful of cash and a website is sacrificing the right to your own work in exchange for a paycheck. The upshot is that I’ve watched material I’d slaved over for weeks (and, to be honest, some weak material I dashed off over a weekend for beer money) get time-humped to oblivion whenever the comedy site I’d been writing for changed formats, went bankrupt, overhauled their backend website system or otherwise obliterated my stuff in the name of progess and decency.

So it’s been a nagging irritation for me that all my National Lampoon stuff got wiped from the Internet Hivemind some time last year to make way for that upsetting next wave in internet comedy, video clips. (Even the Onion’s got the damn things now.) Why bother writing things when you can upload clips of fat men getting hit in the nutsacks with objects of various weight, or cats wearing/doing/dry-humping things they shouldn’t, right?

Though not complete, here’s what I managed to unearth (and a big thanks to Scott Mulder’s generosity shortly after I left NL, without whose email packages of old archived material I most likely wouldn’t have even these). Varying quality here, I admit, though in particular check out “Golden Heat,” a piece of such unapologetic stupidity that it still makes me smile years later. My apologies that, post-Zoolander, it now reads a bit “done”. In my defense, though, this piece pre-dates Stiller by a considerable margin (as did the dancer-in-the-coal-mines bit, also a later Zoolander scene. Perhaps I’ve got a tasty lawsuit on my hands?)

• Al Jazeera Guide
• Bono’s Third World Products, Inc. (with Karla Pacheco and Scott Mulder)
• Conserving Energy in the Home
• Flush-Rite Holiday Catalog 2003
• Things You Didn’t Wanna Hear
• The Curious Adventures of Inspector Poon
• How to be Loathsomely Repellent to Women (with Sean Crespo)
• The Thrashing of the Christ DVD Release Page
• Christmas ‘Round the World (with Sean Crespo)
• Golden Heat: My Life as a Solid Gold Dancer
• The NL Guide to Taxes