My Brain Don’t Work Right

October 17th, 2003 Posted in 2003

This week I got into PvP in a big way, and spent ungodly amounts of time surfing through four years of archives. When I read this joke, though, I had to stop and think. “I don’t get you.” “Nobody does—I’m the wind, baby.”

I’d heard that before. The comic was clearly a reference to it. But for the life of me I couldn’t place where it was from.

I hate it when that happens. I’m actually completely unable to let that kind of thing go, so the subsequent mental rolodex search looking for the reference will go on in the back of my head until I get it. Does this ever happen to you? It’s annoying as hell.

I’m embarrassed to admit how much of my limited brainspace is used to store useless arcane data I didn’t even ask it to save. For instance, in the TV show ALF, the father’s name was Willy Tanner, the mother’s name was Kate, the kids were named Lynn and Brian, and the neighbors were named the Ochmoneks. I even remember that Jm J. Bullock guest starred on several episodes, and that his name was spelled “Jm”, not “Jim”.

I defy you to imagine a non-trivia gameshow related circumstance where that sort of information would be remotely useful. I read a book last week about globalization, and I couldn’t even tell you the name of the organization who gives money to poor countries right now. But I remember that the daughter’s name on ALF was Lynn Tanner. It’s ridiculous that my brain’s chosen to so blatantly waste its limited resources, but there it is. So why can’t I remember a scrap of trivia when I need it, goddamn it?

I puzzled over it for days before I finally remembered. It’s actually a quote from Mystery Science Theater. So I solved it. Oddly, I felt no more fulfilled having unraveled the mystery.

So I got drunk to compensate.