Helpful Edits

May 11th, 1996 Posted in Cubicle Blues

(9:05) My original sentence:

There is always a pool of Retail staff on hand to fill positions as they become available.

(11:02) Add the first helpful edit from the flex coordinator (retail):

Staff Co. can ensure that there is always a pool of Retail staff to fill positions as they become available.

(11:15) Add the second helpful edit from the retail coordinator (flex):

Staff Co. can strive to ensure that there is always a pool of retail oriented individuals to fill positions as they become available in many markets.

(2:45) Add the third helpful edit from my retail supervisor:

Staff Co. aims to strive towards ensuring that there is always a pool of retail oriented individuals to fill positions as they become available in many proactive vertical markets.

(3:59) Add the fourth helpful edit from the marketing supervisor (retail):

[in margin: Too wordy! Simplify!! Jay, I shouldn’t have to tell you this!!!!]

Staff Co. aims to strive towards ensuring that there is always a pool of retail oriented individuals to fill positions as they become available in many proactive vertical markets.

(4:40) Final sentence:

There is always a pool of Retail staff on hand to fill positions as they become available.

(5:04) Attempt to drive stapler through sinuses directly into brain.