Forum Contest Winners: Gumshoe!

April 19th, 2005 Posted in Uncategorized

Hey hey, folks. A little quiet on the update front this week, I admit. My girlfriend and I spent the entire weekend at Venice Beach, drinking vodka/OJ concoctions from smuggled-in water containers, swearing violently at seagulls and children, and generally enjoying the absolute hell out of ourselves. (I also seem to have gotten a horrible sunburn on, of all things, my ankles. The Sun, you wiley two-faced bastard.)

As always is the case when I go have fun instead of staying cooped up indoors staring at a monitor for hours on end, the website’s the first thing to get neglected. And so, in the future I promise to never again have any fun. Ever. I think you’ll agree this is the most sensible course of action. I’m looking into thin gruels to feed myself while chained to my computer.

Forum Contest: Write This Comic!

I gotta admit: the last few “Write This Comic” contests were pretty awful (I never put ‘em up on the main page). So I was pleasantly surprised by the latest attempt, which has enough laugh-out-loud entries to make up for a few stinky outings. This one’s inspired by Sin City. Read the entries by clicking below (warning for dial-up users: big files ahead).

READ ‘EM ALL HERE

Where I’m At on the Web

The good folks at College Humor have taken a shine to me recently; you can find several articles of mine up at their site below:

Fuck Now, While There’s Still Time An earnest plea to the young people of America.

Five Reasons Hilary Duff Probably Digs Me Reason #1: I’ve heard nothing to the contrary.

From the Archives

Tax Primer An NL.com piece I wrote last year for tax-time. Worth reading for the saxophone guy alone. (offsite)

How To Break Your Arms and Legs One of the few pieces I can actually show people without them feeling the need to pray for me.

Pink’s Bookmarks

Men of Steel, Women of Kleenex Hilarious essay from scifi master Larry Niven.

How To Write Good A great humor essay about writing from Michael O’Donoghue