Elephant Jokes For All Ages!

April 6th, 2005 Posted in Quick Bits

Q: Why are elephants large, grey and wrinkled?
A: Because if they were small, white and smooth they’d be aspirins!

Q: How do you get two Tarzans in the fridge?
A: You can’t, silly, there is only one Tarzan!

Q: Why are elephants wrinkled?
A: Have you ever tried to iron one?

Q: How do you stop an elephant from charging?
A: Take away his credit card!

Q: How do you know if there is an elephant under the bed?
A: Your nose is touching the ceiling!

Q: How do you buy an elephant in Africa?
A: Just take one! People there all have AIDS and eat sand!

Q: What do you get if you cross an elephant with a whale?
A: A submarine with a built-in snorkel!

Q: How do you stop an elephant from having babies?
A: Bend a coathanger and stick it into the elephant’s uterus where the fetus is gestating!

Q: How can you tell the difference between an elephant and a duck?
A: You can’t lure an elephant over with bread crumbs, break its neck, put the corpse in a box labeled “Free Pet Duck” and leave it in a schoolyard!

Q: Why won’t they allow elephants in public swimming pools?
A: Because they might let down their trunks!

Q: How do you make an elephant sad?
A: Shoot a homosexual!

Q: Why do elephants eat retarded babies?
A: Because that’s all you ever feed them, silly!