Blog Posts

Longer Works and HTML Miscellany

Thursday, December 27th, 2007 Posted in 2004, 2003, Articles | 5 Comments »

Off to Canada!

Wednesday, October 3rd, 2007 Posted in 2007 | 7 Comments »

Getting There…

Saturday, September 15th, 2007 Posted in 2007 | No Comments »

Honestly, to hell with MovableType

Friday, September 14th, 2007 Posted in 2007 | 10 Comments »

Diving Into Traffic To Avoid Puppies, And Other Tips For Children

Wednesday, May 16th, 2007 Posted in 2007, Essays | Comments Off

Hello Again

Thursday, April 19th, 2007 Posted in 2007 | Comments Off

Put My Blarney Stones In Your Mouth

Saturday, March 17th, 2007 Posted in 2007 | Comments Off

Getting Angry About Things I’m Unqualified To Discuss

Thursday, March 15th, 2007 Posted in 2007 | Comments Off

In Times Of Crisis, You Can Count On Me (To Be A Big Pussy)

Sunday, March 11th, 2007 Posted in 2007 | Comments Off

No, I’m Not Dead

Monday, December 11th, 2006 Posted in 2006 | Comments Off

Why I Am Not Allowed To Shop By Myself

Sunday, October 29th, 2006 Posted in 2006, Essays | Comments Off

My Bad Interview

Tuesday, October 17th, 2006 Posted in 2006 | Comments Off

Comedy That Time Forgot, Vol. 1

Sunday, October 15th, 2006 Posted in 2006 | Comments Off

Farmers Are Lunatics

Friday, October 13th, 2006 Posted in 2006, Essays | Comments Off

“Islam? Violent? We’ll kill you for saying that!”

Wednesday, September 20th, 2006 Posted in 2006 | Comments Off

South Korea/JP.com Talks Break Down; Flame War Imminent

Monday, September 11th, 2006 Posted in 2006 | Comments Off

Stacy, Will You Marry Me?

Friday, September 8th, 2006 Posted in 2006 | Comments Off

Karla, Will You Marry Me?

Monday, August 28th, 2006 Posted in 2006 | Comments Off

Shameless Hype

Tuesday, August 22nd, 2006 Posted in 2006 | Comments Off

Happy Dominion/ Independence Day! Enjoy your freedom/servitude!

Monday, July 3rd, 2006 Posted in 2006 | Comments Off

What’s on TV on Sunday Morning

Sunday, July 2nd, 2006 Posted in 2006 | Comments Off

Hardcore Sluts Crave Lucrative High-Yield Investments in Erectile Dysfunction Cures!

Wednesday, June 28th, 2006 Posted in 2006 | Comments Off

Drinks at Irish Pub in Queens

Monday, June 26th, 2006 Posted in 2006 | Comments Off

The Trailer Trash (2002-2004)

Thursday, June 8th, 2006 Posted in 2006 | Comments Off

Steven Wells is a Sensible Goddamn Man

Monday, May 22nd, 2006 Posted in 2006 | Comments Off

Weekend Site Maintenence

Saturday, May 20th, 2006 Posted in 2006 | Comments Off

People I Have Decided To Kill If I See Them Again: #46

Monday, May 15th, 2006 Posted in 2006 | Comments Off

What’s in Men’s Health

Thursday, May 11th, 2006 Posted in 2006 | Comments Off

Chronicles of Narnia: Huge Pile of Shit

Thursday, April 20th, 2006 Posted in 2006 | Comments Off

Fun Things to do in New York

Friday, April 14th, 2006 Posted in 2006 | Comments Off

Brain-Death in Venice

Wednesday, April 12th, 2006 Posted in 2006 | Comments Off

The Gospel of Judas

Thursday, April 6th, 2006 Posted in 2006 | Comments Off

I Have Had it With All the Snakes on This Plane

Thursday, March 23rd, 2006 Posted in 2006 | Comments Off

Canadian Tire Guy (1998-2006)

Saturday, March 11th, 2006 Posted in 2006 | Comments Off

Graduate with Honors, Ninja Genius Sex Machine School

Wednesday, February 22nd, 2006 Posted in 2006 | Comments Off

Two Out of Six Ain’t Bad

Thursday, February 16th, 2006 Posted in 2006 | Comments Off

Commercials That Try Too Hard

Sunday, January 1st, 2006 Posted in 2006 | Comments Off

Things That Need to Go Away in 2006

Sunday, January 1st, 2006 Posted in 2006 | Comments Off

Ask Your Doctor if Financially Motivated, Overpriced Healthcare is For You!

Thursday, December 29th, 2005 Posted in 2005 | Comments Off

Pink Candy For Your Tum-Tum

Thursday, December 22nd, 2005 Posted in 2005 | Comments Off

Notes on Commuting by Bus in LA

Monday, October 3rd, 2005 Posted in 2005 | Comments Off

Jiminy Goes For a Swim

Monday, August 1st, 2005 Posted in 2005 | Comments Off

Soop-Yok

Wednesday, July 27th, 2005 Posted in 2005 | Comments Off

The Killer Bees

Tuesday, July 12th, 2005 Posted in 2005 | Comments Off

The Complete News Skim Comics back online…

Sunday, July 3rd, 2005 Posted in 2005 | Comments Off

What are you doing right now?

Sunday, June 19th, 2005 Posted in 2005 | Comments Off

Oh, It’ll Fester

Friday, June 10th, 2005 Posted in 2005 | Comments Off

Cubicle Blues (Volume I)

Wednesday, May 11th, 2005 Posted in 2005 | Comments Off

Crises!

Thursday, April 21st, 2005 Posted in 2005 | Comments Off

Bloody Good Film

Friday, April 8th, 2005 Posted in 2005 | Comments Off

Getting Out Of Bed (Just Like Brian Wilson Didn’t)

Monday, March 7th, 2005 Posted in 2005 | No Comments »

Listening To Your Life Get Shorter To The Sounds of Lionel Richie

Tuesday, March 1st, 2005 Posted in 2005 | No Comments »

Etiquette: Advanced Edition

Tuesday, January 18th, 2005 Posted in 2005 | No Comments »

Afternoon Delight

Tuesday, December 14th, 2004 Posted in 2004 | No Comments »

82 Reasons to Empathize With Your Government

Monday, November 29th, 2004 Posted in 2004 | No Comments »

Misc.

Tuesday, November 16th, 2004 Posted in 2004 | No Comments »

How My Brain Works

Friday, October 29th, 2004 Posted in 2004 | Comments Off

A Brief Update From Heathen Lands

Friday, October 8th, 2004 Posted in 2004 | No Comments »

The Problem

Wednesday, September 8th, 2004 Posted in 2004 | No Comments »

Hackley-Smoot Act: The Bestselling Suspense Thriller

Tuesday, September 7th, 2004 Posted in 2004 | No Comments »

You Don’t Buy a Cure For Cancer, You Just Rent It

Friday, September 3rd, 2004 Posted in 2004 | No Comments »

“Berry” Good News

Thursday, August 26th, 2004 Posted in 2004 | 1 Comment »

Need a Light? Urine Luck!

Wednesday, August 11th, 2004 Posted in 2004 | 3 Comments »

This Title Brought To You By Starsky & Hutch (Buy on DVD TODAY!)

Saturday, July 31st, 2004 Posted in 2004 | No Comments »

Office of the Damned

Monday, July 26th, 2004 Posted in 2004 | No Comments »

Spam: The Other Pink Meat

Tuesday, June 29th, 2004 Posted in 2004 | No Comments »

Killing Me Slowly With Their Songs

Thursday, June 10th, 2004 Posted in 2004 | No Comments »

Deathmatchin’! (Pt. 2)

Saturday, April 24th, 2004 Posted in 2004 | No Comments »

Deathmatchin’! (Pt.1)

Friday, April 23rd, 2004 Posted in 2004 | No Comments »

Free Crap (With Every Order of Crap)

Thursday, April 22nd, 2004 Posted in 2004 | No Comments »

You DON’T Think

Sunday, April 18th, 2004 Posted in 2004 | No Comments »

Here Comes the Sun

Sunday, April 11th, 2004 Posted in 2004 | No Comments »

My Deductive Genius Put to Work

Sunday, April 4th, 2004 Posted in 2004 | No Comments »

How The Test Was Won And Where It Got Us

Thursday, March 18th, 2004 Posted in 2004 | No Comments »

A Real Looker

Wednesday, February 18th, 2004 Posted in 2004 | No Comments »

Reading is Dead (Long Live the King)

Sunday, January 25th, 2004 Posted in 2004 | No Comments »

My Ass Needs Kicking (From Me)

Friday, January 23rd, 2004 Posted in 2004 | No Comments »

Be Jay Pinkerton’s Friend For Only $19.99!

Monday, January 12th, 2004 Posted in 2004 | No Comments »

Buffet of the Damned

Monday, January 12th, 2004 Posted in 2004 | No Comments »

My Bob Dole Period (Part II)

Wednesday, December 31st, 2003 Posted in 2003 | No Comments »

My Bob Dole Period (Part I)

Monday, December 29th, 2003 Posted in 2003 | No Comments »

Fret (noun)

Wednesday, December 17th, 2003 Posted in 2003 | No Comments »

The Worst Part

Sunday, November 30th, 2003 Posted in 2003 | No Comments »

Not Too Much Off The Sides

Wednesday, November 26th, 2003 Posted in 2003 | No Comments »

How To Throw a Baby

Thursday, November 20th, 2003 Posted in 2003 | No Comments »

This Irritating, Useless Voice Message Is For Your Convenience

Monday, November 3rd, 2003 Posted in 2003 | No Comments »

Inane in the Membrane

Sunday, October 26th, 2003 Posted in 2003 | No Comments »

What the fuck is PC Load Letter?

Friday, October 24th, 2003 Posted in 2003 | No Comments »

Gasping Morons & Ratfuck Bastards

Monday, October 20th, 2003 Posted in 2003 | No Comments »

My Brain Don’t Work Right

Friday, October 17th, 2003 Posted in 2003 | No Comments »

The Taming of the Jordan

Wednesday, October 15th, 2003 Posted in 2003 | Comments Off

Yes, Virginia, Your Parents Despise You

Wednesday, October 8th, 2003 Posted in 2003 | No Comments »

It’s Like Stealing, But With Stamps!

Monday, October 6th, 2003 Posted in 2003 | No Comments »

A Touch of the Coulier

Thursday, October 2nd, 2003 Posted in 2003 | No Comments »

A Shameful Confession

Monday, September 29th, 2003 Posted in 2003 | No Comments »

The Matrix Revolutions Post That Doesn’t Actually Talk About Matrix Revolutions

Friday, September 26th, 2003 Posted in 2003 | No Comments »

We Are All Made of Stars

Saturday, September 20th, 2003 Posted in 2003 | No Comments »

A Tingling, Burning, Skin-Eating Sensation

Thursday, September 18th, 2003 Posted in 2003 | No Comments »

Fan mail for The Trailer Trash

Thursday, September 18th, 2003 Posted in 2003 | No Comments »

After the Blackout

Thursday, September 18th, 2003 Posted in 2003 | No Comments »

How To Be Drunk And Stupid

Saturday, September 6th, 2003 Posted in 2003 | No Comments »

Acceptable Losses

Thursday, August 28th, 2003 Posted in 2003 | No Comments »

Invasion of the Computer Snatchers

Thursday, August 28th, 2003 Posted in 2003 | No Comments »

IT Rockstar!

Thursday, August 21st, 2003 Posted in 2003 | No Comments »

Meet The New DOS; Same As The Old DOS

Thursday, July 3rd, 2003 Posted in 2003 | No Comments »

Knowing When To Hold ‘Em, Fold ‘Em & Walk Away From ‘Em: Kenny Rogers’ “The Gambler” & Its Effect on Post-Modern Interpretations of Karaoke

Sunday, June 22nd, 2003 Posted in 2003 | No Comments »

In Support of Slave Labour

Saturday, February 22nd, 2003 Posted in 2003 | No Comments »

Est unusquisque faber ipsae suae fortunae

Wednesday, February 5th, 2003 Posted in 2003 | No Comments »

OmniMegaDynaCorp Inc.

Thursday, January 30th, 2003 Posted in 2003 | No Comments »

Altercation on the TTC

Friday, December 20th, 2002 Posted in 2002 | 1 Comment »

Battle of the Brains

Tuesday, December 10th, 2002 Posted in 2002 | No Comments »

Mission Statement

Friday, December 6th, 2002 Posted in 2002 | No Comments »

Disgusting Thoughts To Haunt Your Dreams

Tuesday, November 26th, 2002 Posted in 2002 | No Comments »

Something Fun To Do On The Weekend

Wednesday, November 13th, 2002 Posted in 2002 | No Comments »

The Applaudable Aim of Hard Rocking

Friday, November 8th, 2002 Posted in 2002 | No Comments »

Human Cartoons On The Fourteenth Floor

Sunday, November 3rd, 2002 Posted in 2002 | No Comments »

Personal Visions of Hell (And Other Fun-Filled Conversation Starters…)

Friday, November 1st, 2002 Posted in 2002 | No Comments »

$14.99 Shirt-and-Tie Combo

Thursday, October 31st, 2002 Posted in 2002 | No Comments »

I Crack Jokes And Turn Others To Sluts

Sunday, October 20th, 2002 Posted in 2002 | No Comments »

Your Government Dollars At Work

Saturday, October 19th, 2002 Posted in 2002 | No Comments »

Sympathy For The Devil

Wednesday, October 16th, 2002 Posted in 2002 | No Comments »

Fun at McDonalds

Tuesday, October 15th, 2002 Posted in 2002 | Comments Off

Something We can All Agree On…

Thursday, October 10th, 2002 Posted in 2002 | No Comments »

A Tale of Two Biceps

Saturday, October 5th, 2002 Posted in 2002 | No Comments »

Stuck In The Middle With (All 5,000 Of) You

Saturday, October 5th, 2002 Posted in 2002 | No Comments »

Goddamnit! Who Put Luncheon Meat In My Inbox?

Thursday, October 3rd, 2002 Posted in 2002 | No Comments »

Top Five Female Celebrity Fantasy Make-outs

Wednesday, October 2nd, 2002 Posted in 2002 | No Comments »

Please Give Generously, So That I Can Kill Karyn

Tuesday, October 1st, 2002 Posted in 2002 | No Comments »

I Will Master The Sousaphone With My ‘Just Watch Me’ Attitude

Tuesday, October 1st, 2002 Posted in 2002 | No Comments »

Fighting Insomnia

Monday, September 30th, 2002 Posted in 2002 | Comments Off

The History of the Blog

Saturday, September 28th, 2002 Posted in 2002 | No Comments »

A Strict Regimen of Self-Improvement

Wednesday, September 25th, 2002 Posted in 2002 | No Comments »

An Intriguing Discovery

Saturday, September 21st, 2002 Posted in 2002 | No Comments »