Action Hero Showdown
April 13th, 2007 Posted in Off-site Articles
It is widely recognized in academic and scientific circles that I have gifts. Powerful gifts involving prose, and its crafting. With this burden in mind, I decided it was damn well time I gave back something to the community: hence an article exhaustively analyzing which ’80s action movie hero is the hardest badass.
I must point out: this article was written at no great personal risk to me, and was written in my capacity as an authority on absolutely nothing. By this I mean to say that this article should be read as its author intended: as unvarnished, objective fact. If you disagree with the article in any way whatsoever, it is important that you understand this is your moral or intellectual failing, and that with proper counselling you can be brought back from the abyss of improper views on Rambo, and rejoin society as a fully functioning person with correct views.
“Action Hero Showdown”(at Cracked.com)
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