Welcome to the mythic land of Eldibrom—an enormous open fantasy world with brave warriors, enormous monsters and powerful wizards! And while they’re off questing and having glorious adventures, you’ll be skulking around in dark corners, taking their things from them!
You are Rick, an illiterate pig-farmer, and you’re sick of knights and princesses thinking they’re so big: doing heroic things, everybody loving them, strutting around like they’re so handsome and cool. Life’s so easy for them. But maybe they’ll think twice when they get home and notice all their shit’s missing, huh?
Unlike other thief games we could mention, that force you to use stealth and strategy, Thief of Thievery realizes you’re a busy gamer with things to do, and standing around for forty minutes waiting for a guard to leave his post isn’t one of them. That’s why Thief of Thievery takes all the stealth and strategy out of thievery. How? You steal at night, so everybody’s asleep.
You’ve just broken into the Eldibromian king’s bedroom. He and his wife, Queen Lassafrass, slumber peacefully, unaware you just picked their lock, walking on in like you own the place.
In fact, why not celebrate a little? You just broke into the king’s bedroom, after all. Look at those fancy 1000-thread count sheets of his, that sumptuous comforter, that smug f*cking expression. How about giving him a little something to remember you by?
Don’t think we forgot about the missus. Give her a little face music too.
In fact, prior to 9am, do pretty much anything you like. Take everything that isn’t nailed down. Chill out a while if that’s your thing. Read a magazine. Pose the people you’re stealing from—they’re not waking up any time soon. Thief of Thievery lets you vent your frustrations at the upper class while teaching you valuable real-life lessons about fencing things you’ve stolen and dealing drugs in the day-time, when you can’t steal.
Thief of Thievery’s open world structure means you can either steal for money, or for pleasure. Take and sell items of sentimental value from NPCs—items you don’t even need or want! Later, in your citizen disguise, tell them you heard about the recent robbery of their home to get a hilarious story of their devastating loss.
Thief of Thievery: because they think they’re so big, and they’re not.