So You’ve Been Pushed Naked Out of a Plane, the latest addition to my Unlikely Attack Scenario Handbook, is up at CRACKED.com, and is in all likelihood the last word in nude freefall strategy. The other entry in the series, So You’re Being Attacked by C.H.U.D., is probably just as helpful but, reluctantly on the author’s part, contains no nudity whatsoever. I’m just warning you in advance.
Apologies to the few people who still bother to check on this site periodically for nonexistent updates. Karla and I got quickie-married last Friday at New York City Hall, and the week’s sort of been a blur. Hopefully I’ll be back to a regular update schedule soon enough. Plus, I’m going to go out on a limb and promise you that marriage will not mature me in any way, nor will it lead to a lot of cutesy Paul Reiser-esque updates about how men are different from women in many delightfully amusing ways. I know you well enough to know that you most likely don’t care.
In other words, I fully intend to keep my happy marriage to myself, if only because I’ve been trapped in conversations with Those People, and if there’s anything more awful than feigning joy at the miracle of life while looking at a baby photo, it probably involves botulism and a closed room.
Also, if Paul Reiser’s reading this: Sorry I called you out there, big slugger.